i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
