I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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