and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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