I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
