is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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