I molested 6 butterflies tonight
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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