the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
