Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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