Buhtt sex?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
