First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
