Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize