he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Fuck me I smell like cheese
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
