This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
