New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
