too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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