I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize