I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
