so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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