perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
