so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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