i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
