Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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