Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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