Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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