: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
