if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
