I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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