Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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