Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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