Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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