FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
