VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
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i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
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Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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