help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
