Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
