Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize