last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's blow job season.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
