did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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