i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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