you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize