You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize