Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize