i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
