i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
