The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
