We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
