I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
