Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
