peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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