god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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