Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
