Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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