Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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