There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
