Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
