two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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