i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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