hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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