nut hugger
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm like, not good at living.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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