So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
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Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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