Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
