can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
