Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize