is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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