So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
